Cry. Yes, you are reading it right. It does say “cry”.
It has been many years and I still wish, more often than not, that someone had encouraged me to just cry my soul out. I wish it was not like that but unfortunately, it is. But then, I also have a doubt whether it would have changed my life. This is when I wish there were time machines where you could just check your decisions before deciding on one. You can pick the best one once you have checked all the possible decisions you could and seen the results of how they affected the rest of your life. It is just not fair when it comes to taking decisions. Wish we had an angel or something that could see the future and guide us according to what they saw! This is all in my head, isn’t it?
I wish I had someone then to order, let alone suggest, me to cry! Though I had people with me, none of them said what I desperately wanted to hear. Or maybe, I did not know what I wanted to hear and now when I look back, I know exactly what I wanted and needed at that time. Wish I could just go back and change that, but then I could have also changed the event that made me want to cry, right?
The event that I am talking about is the loss of a beloved person. A very close one. Since everyone else was in tears and mourning, I tried to act like a matured person and chose to suppress my tears. Now when I think about it, that was a decision I regret. I did that in order to not make others feel sad and sympathetic towards me. I did not want that because I know what they were going through. I have to be honest here, I did cry a little but everyone that were with me told me to not cry. They were concerned about me so I stopped crying. I also felt along with them that If I stopped crying, it would help me in ways that I was not sure of yet. I just did what they told me to do and being a child, I did not know better. It is not correct to blame them as I know that they were doing nothing but helping me.
Why would I wish someone had told me to cry? Well, I would not be doing it now as often as I am doing. A loss of someone is something you cry about once in a while but I think in my case, I do it more frequently. The sadness just comes over me and makes me want to cry. But now, it does not matter as I got used to it and know that crying is not going to help bring that person back. Maybe If I had cried until I felt relieved, I would have learned to accept the truth. But then, no amount of tears will ever get you to a level where you can finally think, “Ok, I have done enough crying over her so I think I can live with it and maybe forget her too.” That never happens, does it?! I still cannot accept it and it has been many years since it happened. However, I think everything happens for our own good and for a reason, so I guess this helped me in understanding that crying is not always the answer and the solution. It might be in some situations but in other situations where crying does not help, you just go on with your life. Brooding over matters that are irreversible is not something you or we want to do as it just makes our lives even harder and is a waste of our time.
I learned to be optimistic and let me tell you, it gets really hard sometimes but you have to fight it. Sometimes, I don’t want to be nothing but pessimistic as we all do sometimes. I am not suggesting you that pessimistic view on life is good, I am just saying that we need both perspectives sometimes in life. You just have to learn to balance it. This might seem crazy but this is I how I feel. You have to think from both point of views once in a while, it helps you see what is really out there. Lean more towards optimism though!
Feel free to express your opinions, you do not have to agree with all that I have said! Your opinion matters too! 🙂